Thank You for Smoking

The Mod Squad has a subdued lunch at Bert’s to discuss Nick’s problems. They talk about Senator Finisterre’s attempt to put skull-and-crossbones labels on cigarettes. Bobby Jay suggests shooting the senator, though Nick reminds him it is possible that the FBI is listening. As they talk, a waitress offers them apple pie with Vermont cheddar cheese.

On Nightline, Nick sits in a booth where he can be seen but cannot see others. After a condemnatory introduction, Ted Koppel asks Nick about the science behind the health concerns surrounding cigarettes, to which Nick replies there is still no consensus about the harmful nature of cigarettes. Senator Finisterre, also on the program, tries to interrupt Nick. Nick says the one thing science is certain about is that cholesterol is the number one killer and that the senator’s home state of Vermont is selling a lot of cheddar cheese that deserves the same warning label he’s trying to put on cigarettes.

Jeannette meets Nick after his appearance on Nightline. They go to his apartment and have the same romantic interlude that they have had several times before. During their lovemaking, Nick’s answering machine records audible messages from Polly, Heather, and the Captain, all congratulating him on how he dealt with Senator Finisterre.