Good Me, Bad Me

Ali Land’s psychological thriller, Good Me, Bad Me (2017), follows a young girl who finds out that her mother is probably a serial killer and that she must testify against her mother at trial. The novel received an overwhelmingly positive reception from critics upon publication, and reviewers comment on its unique voice and narrative style. An English writer, Good Me, Bad Me is Land’s debut novel. She worked as a child and adolescent mental health nurse in the UK and Australia for more than 10 years.

Good Me, Bad Me takes place in England. Fifteen-year-old Annie lives with her mother who terrifies her. She doesn’t have many friends because she’s too scared to bring people home. Her mother is a vicious murderer who tortures and kills people in the family home. Despite loving her mother, Annie calls the police because she can’t take it anymore.

When the book begins, Annie’s mother has just been charged with murdering at least nine children. The authorities take Annie away, giving her a new identity. She’s renamed Milly and given to a foster family. She must now attend a new school and forget her old life—everything except her mother. Milly is the only witness who can prove that her mother is a serial killer. The prosecutors know that Milly doesn’t want to testify, but it’s the only way to get justice for the victims.



Milly’s new foster parents, the Newmonts, are specially chosen to give Milly the best possible support. Her foster father, Mike, is a psychologist. He has never worked with someone as damaged as Milly, but he is well placed to help her adjust to life without her mother, and he knows what warning signs to look for if she’s struggling.

Her foster mother, Saskia, is a stay-at-home parent. She and Mike have a daughter around Milly’s age called Phoebe. Milly quickly realizes, however, that Phoebe doesn’t want her around. Phoebe doesn’t know about Milly’s past, and Mike plans to keep it that way. He doesn’t want Phoebe to know what Milly has been through.

Psychologically, Milly has numerous issues. She often self-harms and she has contemplated suicide before. Her mother made her feel unlovable and evil, and sometimes, she wonders if that’s true. Most importantly, Milly feels responsible for what happened to the children. She feels she left it too late and that everyone secretly blames her for what happened.



Finally, Milly makes a friend at school called Morgan, a reserved girl who doesn’t have any other friends. She doesn’t have an easy home life, and Milly sympathizes with her. Milly wishes she could tell Morgan the truth about her past and what happened to her, but it’s too risky. She doesn’t want Morgan to think that she’s bad or monstrous.

In the meantime, Milly speaks to her counselors and the prosecution. They go over the murders and what Milly witnessed. She describes what her mother called “the playground.” This was a special room at home where she mutilated and killed young children. She also frequently tortured Milly in there. Land doesn’t describe the murders or child abuse in detail; rather, everything is implied. Sexual assault is also implied.

Meanwhile, Mike decides to write a book about Milly and her mother. He’s so wrapped up in writing the book that he doesn’t pay much attention to what’s happening at home. He doesn’t see that Phoebe bullies Milly and that she doesn’t feel safe in the house. Saskia isn’t much better. She’s always out shopping with friends or at yoga, and she isn’t bonding with Milly. Milly doesn’t like her new life and she regrets reporting her mother.



At school, Phoebe takes bullying to a new level. Phoebe and her best friends, Clondine and Izzy, send her abusive messages and tease her relentlessly. They follow her, taunting her, and Milly doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to hurt them, because that would mean she’s just like her mother. On the other hand, she hates feeling like a pushover.

With the trial almost here, Milly reveals more about what happened with the ninth and final victim. She explains why she called the police to stop her mother for good. It turns out that the ninth victim, Daniel, was Milly’s best friend. Daniel was the only nice thing in Milly’s life. Milly’s mother didn’t like Daniel, and she tortured him. Milly killed him as an act of mercy.

In the background, Phoebe finds out who Milly is. Terrified of what Milly might do, she can’t believe her father agreed to foster someone like Milly. Milly plays on Phoebe’s fears, tormenting her. She is no longer the victim—she’s the hunter, just like her mother. And she plans to take her revenge.



One afternoon, Milly startles Phoebe. Terrified, Phoebe jumps back and falls down the stairs. She dies instantly. Milly doesn’t feel bad. Killing Phoebe was the only way to make the bullying stop and to stay with the Newmonts forever. It is left for readers to decide if Milly is a serial killer like her mother or not.