Addicted to You

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of substance use, addiction, sexual content, and cursing. 

“Our indecencies became our rituals, and our families didn’t need to know about them.”

Lily uses the word “rituals” to refer to her and Lo’s compulsive behaviors and dependencies. When the story begins, Lo and Lily are living within an intricate web of deception both internally and externally; Lily, in particular, is anxious about the idea of her family knowing that she has a sex addiction, and she works hard to keep her life compartmentalized as a result. The use of “rituals” invokes the idea of deliberate, repetitive actions performed almost religiously, suggesting how addiction becomes a way of life rather than just a behavior. This description also connects to The Precarious Nature of Addiction, as their rituals provide a semblance of control while simultaneously deepening their dependency.

“I needed him to fulfill a desire, one that does nothing but torment me. And he’s reminding me of everything I hate about myself. That I let my downstairs brain control my night. That I can’t be a normal girl and just forget about sex for one second. Just one.”

Lily’s compulsions reach a new level when she hires a sex worker to fulfill her needs one night. What Lily really wants is a loving and meaningful relationship with Lo, but because she feels unable to express this desire, it comes out in the form of pursuing other men instead. The result is that Lily feels gratified in the moment but regrets it shortly after, demonstrating the precarious nature of addiction.